I ache for love and trust; to be able to see the beauty in everything around me, to be true to myself.

I fear of meeting my hearts longing. In losing some of me, but I dare, for finding truth is more than living in lies and deceit for it brings more sorrow.

I will risk what I have for I can only live once. Why should I fear looking like a fool if that is what I am? Everyone has a fool within; it is just that some live according to others boundaries.

I will not be bound.

I believed sorrow had touched me but to touch my own sorrow and the center of it all I have yet to discover.

Betrayal is not one unknown to me but still alarmingly close. I have closed and build up a wall,

But now tearing it down.

Pain is not the greatest company. I have felt it, known it, shared it and lived it but I have a hard time sitting with it and doing nothing about it.

Joy is something entirely different but similar. It takes you to a whole different world and engulfs you in it. Running through rain, dancing to no music, singing and jumping with no limitations.

I hate to disappoint another. I fear it and try not to live by it but if it endangers my truth, it must be done. I have been called so many things from friends, people, known and unknown but if they are known once called betrayal-then later called friend.

I am learning to live with failure. To learn instead of falling, to grow instead of hiding it. I am learning the true meaning of failure, the reason of its being,

Growth.

Children can be so much in one’s life. It needs nurture and motivation, patience and love. I’ve had days, as known to others, when I don’t want anything but I keep living for others, for love, for these things that need me even if at the moment I can’t figure out what those things are.

If you are my true friend, I’ll love you forever. If you are my family, I’ll never leave you. If you are my neighbor, I’ll always be there for you; and therefore, I’ll stand by the fire if that is what I was made for.

My strength, what sustains me are all those around me who have stood with me when I couldn't anymore. What sustains me is that I was made for a purpose and until I have found my purpose I will more forward, scream, cry, laugh, smile, jump, dance, sing and live for all that is good and still has a chance of change.

Alone, I won’t and can’t say I will ever be alone, because the one who made me is all around me. In the wind, land, water and fire, sounds and smell, great or small, my thoughts and dreams, even my heart beat. I cannot leave, run, hide or part from him. And with his help I can go hour by hour and day by day and live with myself even in this solitude.

I am strong

I am brave

I am courageous

I am confident

I am funny

I am me,

And that is all I want to be.