Reflection
A paternal guide’s absence made for an angered child
Depressed
and journeyed a rite of passage to rite
as means to digest unwonted stress manifested on paper
Efficient moments bypass
Words manifest
stanzas, paragraphs, collections of
thoughts and feelings
Dharma it must
The poetic medium of expression satisfied me
like a piquant spice to the taste
The genesis of an endeavor with infinite possibilities
Host to innumerable translations we may all share
What to evince and what to covert
Obstacles cascaded down lone walls
insignificant via external
though
grandeur via internal
Maybe
the voyage of self discovery
ended
The only parallel for the peculiarity are in the somber crypts of the mind
There
conflicts are internalized, devour one’s insides, yet my
only haven in disguise
The place that does not critique bearings
To retrospect
Verbal communication is primitive like hellenistic Heliocentrism
Rather speak in terms of the mind’s own merits
Observe
Nature including
Us
The rustles of the wind
It’s effect on our behavior
Much more cognitive
Leaning on one’s sense of logic
What I create, I am God over
A Frankensteinian terror at large
Creativity
A landmark bound irreversible
composed of rhythmic matter
This realization too exquisite
Never
before was I unique at
anything
Thoughts transcribed into words only then are they immortalized
This fantasy power was a potency of poison
Endless pages and pages
Words with such hateful and angry connotations
Became obsessed
Unknowing of a growing insatiable hunger
to rite
Traditional studies were meaningless
I hoped for an exit like sweat, tears, and blood out creased glands
Even then
blood would not ooze like my words on paper
Just felt so good to release my feelings
Ideas just flew through like lava upon a mountainside
At school
Became much of an outsider
The extent of my isolation drove me mad
Felt like the only survivor of a plane crash that no other would bother worry.
Never succumb to peer pressure or fear to appear lesser
One’s process of justification
As my friends were up to wrongdoings
Opted out
To be a good kid
With such unpredictable emotions babbled
inside
I always was
innocent
I think
Just for the sake of being different, would claim to be religious
Cannot remember the last time one collided two hands to pray
Are you worthy of His approval?
When things looked the worst, would pray for a way out, not to help
Selfish, such a selfish person
Never catering to the needs of others
Always taking never giving
Well
except when one was forced to
My mother being an activist tells me to assist in events
Never
looked at them as opportunities to grow
but to complain in public
Indicating an infectious need to complain
Yes
With the major question being
Why is this the way it is?
One questions one’s surroundings as one fears to question oneself
One fears to realize one’s imperfections in one’s mind
but no fear on paper
This medium is like a cure for distress and second guessings.
A cure that rids all of one's implications and lets one be
Whomever
One’s characteristics are gone like an oblivion
One acknowledges that one cannot acknowledge oneself as clear as a coma patient’s thoughts
One questions a lot on platforms awaiting trains
Here one is an
Everyday Man
Capital F is one’s Capital
So many goals with minor accomplishments
Nighttime rolls around and one still struggles to sleep
Not much of a struggle as one wishes not to sleep.
One stays up late to avoid a quick awakening and the eroding voice of one’s mother telling one to shower and prepare for school
The voice of a thousand daggers piercing one’s ears
worst than diabetic nerve pains
Up late
Mouse squeaking stairs
make it impossible to sneak to the living room
Mom’s ears and eyes are ever watchful
Just remain in one’s room, miserable listening to the CLICK-CLICK-CLICK of one’s clock
go on
This is one’s reflection hour where I contemplate
In spite of all one’s suffering and aches throughout one’s life
just remember
there is a person in this world with
a much bigger problem than you
and feels more
hopeless
Just be grateful for another eye awakening