Rebuild
She got up
She walked to the bathroom, head spinning
This was supposed to be a team thing but only one was winning
She needed to look in the mirror but simply could not
She needed to cool off but the hate was burning too hot
Hate misplaced, assigned to the wrong body, assigned to the wrong heart
She tries making sense of it, but it just doesn't feel right like that unexpected seed in your seedless grape
But there's no surprise here, I mean, how can you make sense of rape
The very word tastes rotten like the souls of those who carry out the act
The very thought just isn't right just like calling it an act
Like calling it an incident, like saying she was asking for it because of her lack of self respect
But she could be covered from head to toe and he's still do it because of a lack of simple respect
But if there is always a way to blame her then what do you expect?
He will take, take and take again after he's heard his whole life that it's her job to give
And she will die, die and die again if she's heard her whole life this is how a woman is to live
She was told to be beautiful is to never be alone
And he was told her beautiful was his and his to own
She sits down on the toilet seat, trying to make herself think while trying to forget
Every time her memory will revisit this she will feel so much regret
How could she not have known? But how could she have known?
'I lived my life in fear' is not what you want etched on your gravestone
But these are words written into many a life story
And being a woman is the ink
If he just changes her title from 'her' to 'whore' he
Makes the sheer size of the seriousness shrink
You should never be able to make something this big shrink!
But she was asking for it. She likes it rough
He'll lie and he'll huff and he'll puff
Until he blows down the house of self confidence she's been building on the sandy surface of misogyny and a woman's purpose
And she'll be out in the cold of 'you're worthless'
And that weekend he'll go for dinner at the home of the woman who birthed him
In the house where he and his younger sister dug their fingers in the earth and
Where his grandmother's laugh was the orchestra in the soundtrack of his youth
And he won't even think of the woman who'll always see his ugly melody in the chip in her tooth
He'll never see how hard she cried, bankrupt at the price of his pride
He'll never know how she tried pushing the horror of that night aside
And even if he did he wouldn't care, his conscious has been hitting the snooze button for so long the alarm clock is broken
And what is so frustrating is that if someone raped his little sister he wouldn't feel remorse over the wounds he opened
Because what happens to a woman shouldn't happen to him, right?
What knocks a woman down shouldn't knock him down too, right?
But she got up
It took time but she got up
Because a woman always has to toughen up
And rebuild
It will take time but she will
Rebuild