These are silent love letters

Written on the tattered pages of my life story.

Cross my heart, if I have to die,

If I should ever have to say good-bye,

I will take this to the grave:

I would rather see you happy

Than have a genuine smile on my face.

Because I am a great liar

And horrible significant other

And a silent sufferer

And a trying friend

And a confused human.

 

These are quiet truths

That I whisper to an empty sky,

Though I should be saying them to you:

I would rather spend every day

In my silent agony

Than break both of our hearts

And send you on your way.

So I bandage up my pain

And lift my chin

And give my most convincing smile

And struggle to give you no more than a hug

Because that’s what best friends do.

 

These are peaceful lies

I tell myself, when I find you

Roaming through my thoughts.

I close my eyes

And convince myself that I will find another.

I will find another boy who is the only one for me.

I will find another boy who is perfect.

I will find another one and only.

I will find another soul mate.

And I will not let the tears roll down my cold cheek.

And I will find a way to hold myself together

And make it through this daily hell.

 

I want all the best and only goodness for you.

Because I know you want the same for me.

What a pretty picture of a quiet nightmare.

So I am genuine when I say this,

I mean it with all of my heart and soul:

I hope you’re happy.