I grew up taught not to fear

Anything.

Except men.

 

Do all you want

Be what you want

Don’t depend on a man

 

But don’t tread

Too close to them

 

You never know

If they’ll just grab you

 

And take

What they think is theirs

To claim

 

Don’t do anything

That might provoke him

 

So I grew

Learning silence

Rather than realizing

I had a voice

 

I was included

In a family full of men

 

Raised as an equal

Until I turned ten.

 

Girls don’t dress like that

Girls don’t eat that

 

I was allowed to hunt

With them

Lead to believe

I was one of them

 

Then one day

I just wasn’t.

 

Don’t depend on a man

 

But keep yourself pure

For a man

 

And then suddenly

There was a boot on

My throat

 

Pushing me into the dirt

Telling me that I was less

Than what

I had grown up thinking

 

Just a girl

 

The worst thing

Is to be compared to a

Girl.

 

You can be a princess

Waiting for a prince

To find you

 

But you cannot be

A queen

And save yourself

 

Girls with a backbone

Are despised

 

I grew

Always wondering

Being hurt

When I asked the questions

That weighed so heavily

On my heart and mind

 

“Why do you always have to have a reason?!”

“Just accept it!”

 

And I faded into the dingy white walls

Of my birth home

 

As my brothers, uncles,

Fathers

Played and laughed

And wallowed

In their privilege and strength

 

The past three generations

Of the women of my line

Maybe more, but I do not know,

Had been forced to spread their legs

 

They warned me to be

Wary

 

And in turn

I was angry

 

Rage.

 

It’s been festering

Since I was eleven.

 

And I grew

Having a religion forced

Down my throat I never fully agreed

With

 

Men are valuable

Women are dirt

 

I was in eighth grade

When I heard of the

Amazons

 

A legendary race

Of FEMALE WARRIORS

 

Then I studied my own

Native American

Heritage

 

Women were allowed to fight

Alongside men

If they so desired

 

And were valued as equals

Of men

Life givers

 

Something so sacred and precious

Yet they were given a choice

Of what they wanted to be

 

It didn’t matter who you loved

Whether you married or not

As long as you contributed to the tribe

 

And my anger grew

The religion I was swimming in

Said women were property

 

If I was raped by a man

Then I was now the property of

Said man

 

Ferocity

 

No queens in that heavenly realm?

Just kings and bastard princes

Chosen by His heavenly order?

 

Well, my King, whom I thought

I could accept

 

Take care of my family

And let me go

 

No longer do I hear you

When you say I will never be more

Than property

 

I know I can do great things

So just watch

 

Watch while I rule

The walkway from your tainted gates

With my head held high, shoulders back, and back straight

 

Watch me conquer

Everything

You decreed

 

I never would