Today I fell on the floor weeping bitterly 

No, it’s not like the other days i had cried for some silliness you always do that I had known of

This was actually uncontrollable tears

I convinced myself I don’t regret it 

but that night you were here with another one of your many’s

I didn’t know where it all began but I knew you started to linger on my mind more than usual

I was a naive pure girl who believed all your words and put more meaning to it than it was, I felt loved or so I thought it was and I had smiles more bright than the sunshine, replaying those words you said to me.

I lived in the fantasy you created for me but I was the only one in it. 

I have been lied to, led on and taken advantage of.

I’m sorry innocence , I’m deeply sorry I could never forget that day I let you go, I didn’t know what I was thinking. I still can’t forgive myself but I know it wouldn’t bring you back . Never got the chance to say my goodbye

It breaks me that I had to live through it before I could finally realize I had made the graveist mistake ever. 

Yes, I’m angry at myself for allowing my innocence taken from me

People say forgive yourself for the decision of the past you made because you did what you did with the knowledge you had at that time,  but the knowledge I had at that time was more than enough to allow me know 

Maybe you were right, maybe I wasn’t so innocent of the entire act after all too……

 Knowing myself, I don’t think I’d ever be able to get over this. I’m here on the floor again with a heavy heart and a teary eyes writing this. 

You still don’t know and that’s cause you never cared, so it doesn’t mean anything 

Goodbye pure innocence….

                                           From your not forgiving self