Pretending to Be Me/ Island of Despair

Trying to push pain aside

Write it down,

Throw it away.

Trying to make it all disappear.


Yet you don't want to leave,

You pretend to be me.

As if you could make it better.

Like you can make me better.


You deal with my pain, 

my unfaithful friends games.

You work so hard to let me free

From all my pain,

Constant and never-ending pain.


Yet you put on the brave face

Try so hard every day

to be,

at least once,

Truly happy.


But I don't know what that is.

I don't believe I, or you, 

Can reach the joy you are looking for.


In this black sea of misery,

All the rocks in the distance looking safe,

Comforting even,

Yet filled with cannibals of my own conception.

More pain, no matter where we swim to.


But if you ever find it,

Let me know. 

I'll be here

On the Island of Despair.


My rope made of pain

Not string.


The box being pulled from under my feet,

It's misery,

Not wood.


The person making me dangle?

Well, thats me, my own self-hatred.


But when you,

Brave, selfless you,

Find that joy in life,

Come to me. 


I won't be hard to miss,

Suffocating on my self-loathing,

Dangling in the air

Like a broken christmas ornament on the tree of life.


If you give up on your search,

Come to me anyways.


Join me,

As I watch the world float by

We can see

How many people do as we do,

Where you pretend to be me,

Happy and free,

While I float here.


But until you come to me

And bring me peace



This poem is about: 
My community
My country
Our world


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