Poison

Tue, 01/28/2014 - 16:18 -- Kendall

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A year ago today we became

Best Friends.

Instantly you told me you wanted to be with me,

But I wanted to be

Best Friends.

We spent every day together.

I was your summer.

You were my rock.

I was the rain.

You were the night sky.

I was the tears on your face

And the smile on your lips.

We watched movies,

Went on walks,

Ate icecream,

And played with sparklers.

You swore,

"Every man grows up to marry his best friend,"

And you were in love.

 

And I was afraid.

Your love crushed me.

You swore you loved me,

Would never hurt me,

But your words felt like knives to my flesh.

I stood by your side because I told myself,

"He will kill himself without me."

So we still had our fun times,

Yellow paint hiding

The cracked surface underneath.

 

In September, it was too much.

I threw away all of our pictures.

I cut all ties,

I left you on your own.

No more

Best Friends.

I was afraid.

You were angry.

I didn't want to love you

Or for you to love me

More than we already did.

I pretended I hated you

It was easier.

Two months went by,

And I checked up on you

Without you knowing.

("So how's Steven?")

Eventually, you tried to make up.

I said no.

I was still scared.

But I missed you every day.

I loved you, but you were poison.

You can still love those who are poison to you.

So I shut you out again.

It was better this way.

"It's better this way."

 

December 29th, 2013

10:36 am.

That was when

I got the text.

Not even a call.

A text.

They spelled your name wrong.

 

After that,

It was like a game of Clue.

"...in the van..."

"...the park..."

"...a gun..."

"...a note..."

"...dead."

 

 

Tomorrow is one month.

I only have one picture of us now.

 

I should have loved your poison more.

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