There was a time when I would look into my lover's eyes and we would share secrets meant only for each other

But she left

So that happened

I always wonder

What she told the next guy

If he got the same secrets,

If he knew about her relationship with her mother

Her doubt about the existence of God

The way she feels about music and dancing and drugs

I wonder if she told him about me

But it doesn't really matter

Because she's gone now. 

I don't mean to say that I loved her more than he does.

I did, but I'm not saying that.

I don't anymore, though.

I don't even think of her anymore.

Except

When I think about my relationship with my mother

My doubt about the existence of God

The way I feel about music and dancing and drugs.

Other than that

I don't even think of her that often.

But still more than anyone else.