The Perfect Chick...Or So I Thought

We talked for days and your personality amazed me.
You laughed at my corny ass jokes saying boy you so crazy.
Your beauty was flawless and I never saw this coming
Could she be the one?
Am I finally done?
Can I delete my profile and stop playing the profiler?
Swiping right, swiping left, bad meet and greets..

All in my face with your stanking ass breath.
Damn! This online dating shit
Dealing with psycho crazy shit
And what the fuck is this polyamory shit?
So when I met you I knew my online days were finished;
My feelings never diminished my faith in women replenished.
You made a brother feel good;
You understood my thoughts my emotions
At night, I thought about you when I massaged myself with lotion
Shit I can’t even front, you were the perfect chick;
But damn I didn’t realize that perfect chicks came with dicks
See, I know what you’re thinking and I’m not with that down low bullshit;
I like my women with real titties, real ass and most def a real clit!
Quit thinking I made an exception;

Why would I date someone like me that can sustain an erection?
Why would I date a broad that has lump in her throat;
I’m sure she can deep throat better than most…

At least that’s what I heard! HeHe
We decided on Starbucks, shit when I saw her sitting there;

I was like fuck, I’m a lucky son of a bitch
Size four, real hair, pretty eyes for me to stare;

But this chick wasn’t a chick..shit ain’t fair!
We exchanged firm hugs, she rocked the chocolate brown Uggs,

Kissed her on the cheek then she showed me a pic of her Pug
Named Jenner...ding! Ding! Ding! I picked a winner
Cuz if we fucked the place where I would enter,

Is at the center of the ass marked with a sphincter.
Shit ain’t fair and don’t you dare laugh,

Sippin hot lattes without a care or worry,

Imagining us taking couple baths giving her the slow sex so no hurry.
Shit got hotter that Steph Curry dropping buckets,

I guess she finally said fuck it and broke the news..
Said I’m really a man, with a Kickstand

But a great gal and for you I’m the best bitch to choose.
Choose you why cuz your ass is juicy?
Choose you why cuz you pursuing me?
You a dude but claiming to be Wonder Woman
Last I checked Wonder Woman didn’t have balls with nice claws.
Wonder Woman don’t stand to pee,

But I guess she sits cuz her dick is her fake clit
I told her I would pass,

Cuz I like a real ass and the pussy has to be legit.
No made up shit, no asshole calling it a vajay-jay;
She said hittin this shit don’t make you gay
I told her bitch you lucky I’m secure,

Cuz I could get crazy like Pac Shakur and spray your ass with the AK.
So I walked away, Head held high;
Can’t believe I was bamboozled by a chick with a dick dangling down her thigh.
Why am I sharing this story, so you dudes can be warned
Hell hath no fury than a chick with a dick scorned!

This poem is about: 



This is a poem about my experience with online dating meeting a chick with a penis.  

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