Wed, 05/26/2021 - 17:10 -- paulap

At 16 I diagnosed myself with mental pain

since then nothing was the same

I prayed to god everynight just to keep me sane.


At the age of 17 my pillow was my bestfriend

every tear I shed alone I made sure to stay as quiet as I could

so my parents couldnt hear the tone.


My second bestfriend was music

she always kept my mind on the right beat and my heart

at the right rythm


Fast forward heatbreaks that I thought lasted an eternity

24 years of a parents marrige that mentally put us all in a hearse 

I swear sometimes I feel we were all put on a curse


Mental pain go away 

insecurities, overthinking , depression, anxiety

all negativity go away

let me put all of you down to lay

rest in pain

the way you made me suffer I cant even explain


Everywhere I go my thoughts are under rain

and my eyes are getting soaked 


This was suppose to be a short poem thats turning

into a suicide letter

God is the way and death is not the price 

I ever want to pay



- I am loving, I am beautiful and I care deeply

I am not going anywhere




This poem is about: 
My family


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