PACK YOUR WOUNDS
Dear Me:
You’re finding steps where steps didn’t used to be
I admire that, I really do
Days have gotten harder and you’re still
Finding smiles where you couldn’t
There isn’t a rhyme scheme anymore
Time has passed and it’s gotten boring
Forget any of that bull—
It’s easier just going on.
Hey me,
Hey you,
In the mirror
Brushing your teeth and fixing your hair.
Remember last year in your bedroom
Finding the pills in your hands and
Finding the note on the bed?
Remember Gran’s house
Being scrawny and four
Finding your cousin taking something
That wasn’t his?
Taking your body in his hands and
Dirtying it?
I’m guessing you try not to think of it
When Mom and Dad don’t even know about any of it
The counselor tries to talk about it—
No, not yet
We’re not there yet
Recovery is happening
Just not that fast
Remember past New Year’s?
Drinking with big brothers
Even though you shouldn’t have?
Smoking tricky substances
Even if you shouldn’t have?
It was fun
The most fun in a long time
The cold weather froze you to your bones
But the smile couldn’t be wiped off.
Even if friends threw up the magic serum
From their warm bellies.
Even if you felt that tinge of sadness
When Mom couldn’t bring herself to care
To ask you where you were at 4 AM—
It’s okay
It’s all okay
Next year is Seattle
Or maybe Berkeley
But it’s far away
All your emotions can take a break
A vacation from your silly brain
Independent girl
With Susanna by her side
Silly brain with a bass guitar
It’s tying guitar strings to foggy dreams
It’s tying hopes to art folk
Belonging somewhere once for a while
Hopefully you make it to Sweden
the big city lights
Hopefully you make it bright
After being dull for so long
Dear me,
You’re finding staircases leading to heaven-like places
I admire that, I really do
Days have gotten longer and you’re still
Finding words where there weren’t any
There isn’t a forced hand anymore
Time has passed and it doesn’t work
Forget any of that bull—
It’s easier just going on.
Here's to hoping.
Sincerely from
Me, myself, and I