Overcoming My Eating Disorder

From the time you are born to the moment you die,

You’re stuck inside of your body,

And the mere thought of that used to make me cry.

Why do I look like this?

Oh God, I hate myself,

Thoughts like this are ones I won’t miss.

From crying myself to sleep, 

To getting dressed in the dark ,

Its a blessing that i was able to crawl out of a hole that deep.

Not enough eating,

Too much exercise,

I lost weight, but my mind and body suffered a beating.

The agony from my stomachs cries,

The tears pouring from my sore eyes,

Everyday I’d wake up, I just wanted to die.

Day after day losing more and more weight,

I still saw myself the same and i couldn’t accept that fate.

Years of inner battle, 

years of self torture,

In 2016, I decided to tattle.

I told my mother about all that I went through,

She was so distraught that as a mother she had no clue.

From that day on is when real change occurred,

I got the help I needed and learned to love myself,

The idea that I could love myself sounded absurd. 

I was in a dark place for such a long time,

 I feared the feeling of coming up,

Now it’s 2019 and my mindset is of sublime.

I’ve overcame the trauma,

Ridding my mind of the self hate,

When i think of the old times it just plays like a cyclorama.

No longer causing me pain or distress,

I’ve surpassed that stage of my life, 

Overcoming the fear happiness is one I will never again suppress.







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