Osmosis
My body is like a cell.
I don’t mean that it’s made up of cells.
Everyone who tooks biology knows that.
And everyone who took biology also knows
That some cells are semi-permeable.
I am a semi permeable cell.
And the layers of my body are all layers of the cell.
Membranes that the parts of me try to get through.
On the outside,
I don’t give a single donkey’s rear what anyone thinks of me.
On the outside, I dress and wear makeup for me
I speak for me
On the outside.
A single layer in,
I’m stressed and irritable
On the outside, I’m mature and Mom-ish
But I’m strangely child-like
A single layer in.
A second layer in,
I’m a perfectionist and a planner.
A single layer in I’m megaphone, a leader and a guiding hand
But I’m quiet, insecure, and lost
A second layer in.
On the inside
I’m hopelessly confused, bumbling around in the dark of my insides.
On the inside, I’m trapped in this version of me I don’t want to be
I don’t speak of the me
That’s inside.