I used to sit alone in bed and cry.

As tears streamed down my face I wondered when I'd find my place. 

I'd think to myself "why do I even try?".

Days and nights passed and it was all the same. 

I felt dead, could never get rid of the pounding in my head. 

I couldn't feel anything, I just wanted to feel something, even pain. 

No one addressed the problem, no one wanted to hurt me. 

Or maybe no one gave a shit, maybe I wasn't worth it. 

One morning I woke up and brewed a cup of my favorite tea. 

I decided I was more than the girl who just sits and cries and doesnt live her life.

I ran 2 miles, 

I did my make up for me, dressed all pretty and went to the city. 

I stopped giving a fuck that no one cared and stopped being the girl who never had a smile. 

I live my life happy day by day, and I don't care what other people say. 

I used to sit alone in bed in cry. 

Now when I think about those nights, all i can do is wonder "why?".