My older brother does meth. 

My role model, my idol, my inspiration, my blood brother.  

Since that day, one year ago, I could never look at drugs the same. 

Movies portrayed going to parties, drinking, and smoking as something exciting to look forward to growing up.

Now I realized that they only showed the good times, and no one really knows about the fucked up.

My whole perspective changed as a picture flashes across my mind of my brother doing drugs, sitting in the dark, alone. 

My heart aches for him and I'm full of tears. 

I wish I could help my dear brother, but he's trapped by the menacing grip of addiction. 

I can't sleep at night, but when I do, I wish the drugs didn't make my brother hate the rest of my family. 

I used to wake up feeling alone and guilty in this world with no sense of direction. 

I even sometimes wished I could end it all.. 

All I had was faith, hope, and friends to support me and convince me that one day my brother will wake up and change.  

At first my pride made it hard for me to tell my friends, but once I opened up I felt like I had a lot weight taken off my shoulders. 

I now had a support system that helped me get through tough times.

The amazing part is that I got my 5 closest friends from high school to stop drinking and smoking. 

Sergio, Jared, Ralph, Arvan, and Brian. 

These guys are my heart and soul; my second family. 

We swim, laugh, listen to music, and play board games like "What's that phrase!" until 3AM. 

Time flies while hanging out with my squad, but time also slows down. 

The memory of my mom trying to put her anger aside to forgive my brother.  

Trying to gently comfort my brother only to make him more distant and mad.  

Even with that result, my mom wakes up everyday, puts a smile on her face and has hope that one day her son will wake up and just stop.  

She is the light during my times of darkness to remind me to not lose faith, be strong, and keep pushing forward.  

It's been a rough year, but everything is awesome, even during times of hardship.