It is November and I am young

I am barely seventeen

my hair is down to the middle of my back

I practically sleep in my black leather jacket

I am surprised that you’d take an interest in me

but I don’t question it

 

It is December and I am young

I am newly seventeen

I care about you

I cling to you, I know that

They left me and you deal with the remains

You were supposed to, at least

 

It is January and I am young

I am still barely seventeen

I am shivering in my car

my leather jacket doing nothing to insulate

I stare at the neon red M of MUSIC across the storefront

I question every lyric you wrote for me

 

It is February and I am young

and I am newly brokenhearted

I don’t wear my worn leather jacket

I don’t listen to Foo Fighters

I don’t look at them

I don’t crack open my book

 

It is March and I am young

I am slowly, sometimes, better

I wear my leather jacket once every other week

I reblog posts of Dave Grohl on Tumblr

I laugh at their insecurities

I take a pick ax to the book

 

It is April and I am young

I am newly rejuvenated

if my book wasn’t cracked before, it is ripped open, a hole gaping  now

I get up at 5 and get to school at 6

I read and I write and I read and I study

I listen to banjos and imperfect voices

 

It is May and I am young

I am nervous and my hands shake more than usual

I study and read and write and study

I cut my hair off and leave the dead behind

I wear my faded leather jacket because I feel like it

I sing obnoxiously loud Foo Fighters lyrics and find a genuine smile

 

It is June and I am young

I am exhausted

I watch too many seasons of too many series in one setting

I walk my brown labrador

I listen to KMOX

I watch Cardinal baseball

 

It is July and I am young

I am anxious

I pace and barely sleep and check AP's website at 5 in the morning

I got a 4

I read and studied and wrote and studied

and people are proud of me and I am proud of me

 

It is August and I am young

I am busy

I am Editor in Chief

I am on eight missions and have four agendas

I am thinking that maybe I was a bit ridiculous last winter when wanting to graduate a semester early

Maybe this isn't so terrible

 

It is September and I am young

Still busy

almost eighteen

Reading and editing and listening

Brothers and banjos and beards

I'm focused

 

It is October and I am young

I am successful

I've completed five missions

finished two agendas

and added three others

I am proud of my staff and of myself

 

It is November again and I am eighteen

An adult

I am dancing in the Old Rock House's balcony

Stomping and tapping in my combat boots

Singing ba pa da, ba pa da

without a single thought to you.