Numb

Its like your whole body is just numb n your thoughts are finally slower n you can actually think and feel the emotion you are sopost to feel... You have like more patients kinda but not really n you have a way way longer fuse till you get mad.. Like your finally free from the cage you hold yourself inside... Only or not actually free because you wont talk about it out loud but only yourself... Then you feel crazy for having a convoys with yourself in your head.cause you asking yourself everything..What to do how to do it how to say it.. But then you choose not to and let it eat you away while you put on a maskvSo everyone thinks its all okay but its truly not.. And its slowly eating you away inside... More and more but you keep doing everything you can to not show what you really feel or what you really think or want to do... Cause you have to big of a heart to hurt anyone.. But deep down wish you didn't... Idk...you feel Just kinda like your there..But in the shadows... Letting all the emotions eat away at what feels like your soul... Thinking this is truly hell.. This feeling you feel that i just described... Your already living in hell.. And nobody can save you...
Not even yourself... You want to keep fighting your way out but it only seems the more you fight the more eating away happens.. The more you lose that little bit of hope... The hope of one day truly breaking free from it all.. The hope of people truly understanding.. People doing what you do n putting how you feel aside.. Just for their happiness... But as you sit there n read this message you think to yourself after all the pain, tears, blood, sweat, devotion, heart ache, and late nights... Why am I still this way? Why do i let myself get pulled farther and farther into my own hell... Why do I keep everything barred so deep within... Truth be tolled your scared for what will happen and who you will hurt when your soul is gone.. Still wishing to let it out... Knowing you cant

This poem is about: 
Me

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