I grew up

Today thinking

Cold, calculated logic

 

I walk around

Today feeling

Nothing, empty, lifeless

 

Maturity,

I think to me,

Has embraced

My soul uniquely

 

For as I've grown,

Emotions I've shown

Have recessed away and deep

 

My mask is dull,

A colorless pall, of a nonchalant

And robotic bland

 

The bright colors and ways

Of childhood have

Faded now

 

In life, so much

Time yields to the

Heartless, destructive

Adult-world

 

That I feel I

Have prematurely

Evolved into one of them;

A grown-up, already

 

My teenage years

Have been spent,

A slow spiral of

Uncaring impassive

 

Vibrant once,

I've regressed, my true self

Down and buried

 

With cloak and dagger

I hide my inner,

Bursting to be let free

To those I wish

 

So strong the impulse,

And yet,

I find a barrier

 

Myself, I see,

Along with society,

Hinders my deepest personality

From showing

 

A Hopeless romantic,

I am,

Yet I show it truly

To few

 

Locked within my chambered

Heart-safe,

I reside,

In all my splendor

 

An effect of my circumstance,

I've become,

The inner loves

Yearning to present

 

My curtain, my wall,

Shielding my vivacious energy-fueled charisma

Is numbness to all

And to all a good night

 

I grew up

Yesteryear loving life,

Colors, strong, beautiful emotions

 

I walked around

Then, treasuring

Moments, passion, people

 

Today I am a shell

 

Today

I sadly follow

Society's standards

To be lifeless, focused on all unimportant

 

To be alive or to be numb

Is the query;

In the battle waged between the two,

Heat trumps cold again and again

 

I. Choose. Life.