Not Poetry
My emotions are not poetry
They cannot be compared to the deep ocean
Or a thunder storm
They are a fist bruised
From beating against an unbreakable plastic mirror
And the shame I should be indebted to feel
Later
As though a consumption of pain
So strong
I attempt to shatter myself
Is less genuine
Than his comments that belong
In a Shakespeare script
For even though his life is no tragedy
He must deserve your compassion more
Than a foolish child
Wishing
That the glass could split her open
And spill
All the chaos inside
My emotions are not poetry
I do not want a quiet boy
To compare my impassioned soul
To a raging forest fire
Or lightning
Splitting the sky
There is no beauty in my pain
That warrants such a comparison
My emotions are not poetry
Do not tell me that there is beauty
In this pain
Do not promise that my tears are
More breath-taking
And shall attract more
Than my smile
And then shame me for the water
Spilling down my face
Do not romanticize suffering
So much
That I dream of spilling my
Own blood
And slashing my skin open
So that you will see me
As beautiful
There is no beauty in pain
In sorrow
In death
My blood should not be considered
Romantic
Because I have torn it out of my
Skin
And let it pool on the floor
I should not believe that such
Scars
Will attract more love than any
Display of happiness could
Stop promising a boy who will kiss
With worldly affection
The marks on my wrist –
My thighs,
I do not need to believe
The lie
That I am only beautiful
When I am in pain
Our emotions are not poetry
Our pain,
Our suffering,
Our grief,
Are not like the deep ocean
Or a raging storm
There is no beauty
In our scars being kissed
They should not be there in the first place
Because our suffering
Is not the moon
It is not the stars
Our emotions are not poetry
And this is realized
When we see there is nothing beautiful
About a lifeless corpse
Hanging from the ceiling
With a rope
That is not pretty or poetic
Wrapped around their neck
And we realize
Instead of attempting to comfort
Their insecurities
By saying that even in pain
They are at least still beautiful
We should have just…
Loved them.