The Night Of...

The day of spring was gloomy  

the mood was melancholy and grey

my state of mind

was rather despairing

from all the negativity

i have in my self esteem

my heart broken to pieces

from all the men i’ve interacted with

all the lies and doubt i received

from every individual in the past

my thoughts

deeper than my hunger

my grief

distracting me from sleeping

my existence

more sorrowful than rain

every tear i shedded

escaping from my big eyes

were like atomic bombs

making its way to the surface of the ground

leading to explosions with emotions

i stand

to get out

of the place

i once fell in love with

and take a walk

to think about the same ol’ mistakes i’ve committed

head out

and shut the door

 

In the world

where men and women

are segregated

it’s a different world

men and other men

love each other

when women and other women

love each other too

strange and aesthetic

 

I walk down from my living space

to an empty and free road

as i walk

with my head tilted down

not wondering what i’ll stumble upon

not one noise i hear

not even from the birds

singing their lullabies

or the sound of cars

releasing engine roars

just quiet

empty

soulless road

just pure nothingness  

yet

i cock my head to the side

to discover something on my left

a hidden path

i’ve realized that i’ve stopped

to take a closer look

in my mind,

my disappointed mind,

wonders

what lies on the other side

of that strange path

something strange and peculiar

or

something spectacular and glorious

but just like the men,

that lied to me,

i doubt anything fascinating

will await

at the end

so i just keep walking away

from the path

with my head down

but my curious

confused mind

still wonders

what lies

in the mysterious path

so i make up my mind

go back

keep my head up

and approach

the path

to distract

my sad state of mind

 

As i’m walking

down the mysterious path

i later seem to notice

it gets darker

and darker

the deeper i walk

the less

light shines through

it seems

as if

the branches and shrubs

make the way

seem immensely small

so

i fasten my pace

nevertheless

i’m at the point

where i’m losing my breath

and can’t help

but wait

to get there

i halt

to think

is this a genuine idea?

it’s like if my negativity

has taken a break

from all this walking

it’s godspeed

i’m excited

it’s been a million years

since i’ve had this feeling

but,

will it last?

this path is truly extended

truly,

that i’ve become weary

yet,

if my thoughts are clear,

and my head's clear,

it seems as if,

i reached the end of the path

to find a tall wall of shrubs

almost like trees

curiously,

beg to differ,

to stop here

so i make the decision

to keep thinking forward

and move along

to see

what’s on the other end

of the tall shrubs

 

My stamina

still at large

i’m a man with power

and i won’t stop here

not now

as i’m walking

i move along the shrubs and branches

like a jungle

i’m struggling to get there

but

at last

it seems

i’ve reached the last of obstacles

and open my arms

and move the branches

to discover

only

a hidden garden

a beautiful garden

with six colossal fountains

the water,

bluer than the sky

beds of various lovely flowers

stunningly statues

created from gifted sculptures

cherry blossom trees

releasing pink beautiful petals

due to the crisp and free wind

the place is gorgeous

it's a perfect place

as i’m about to lay my foot on the ground

to get a closer look

something catches my attention

that something is a someone

and if my vision is accurate

it’s a man

 

My eye catches this particular individual

he was outstandingly charming

he walked down the garden

he was whistling

a melody

a beautiful melody

with his flawless vocals

the clouds started to fade

in which the sun appeared

giving out its warmest rays

the butterflies fluttered

the flowers bloomed

the bees buzzing

while doing their tasks

accumulating nectar

not only

are they making

the sweetest of honey

but

keeping us alive

in this world

everyone seems to enjoy

but me

there as i watched

him

picking a snapdragon

odd,

he could have chosen a rose

which were in the opposite side of him

but  

instead

he chose the snapdragon  

the flower was rather alluring

just like him

the greatest comparison

in between a flower and a man

 

Myself later finding out i were spying on him

behind the greenest shrubs

i stand back

just so my humongous eyes

can be the only thing

this man could see

if he spotted me

hiding so he won’t see my horrid identity

i keep witnessing

every move he commits

he's so handsome

oh

how i wish

i could somehow

have his features

we could be

the stars of a movie

he'd be the featured star

and i’d be the supportive

we could be like

baby and johnny

from dirty dancing

yet we'd be both men

happily ever after

with dancing skills

and love and commitment

yet i realize

i’m overthinking it

that could never happen

he could never love a man

with such despair

and a

hideous appearance

it seems as if my sorrows

have come back

to taunt me

and i tear a little

knowing

i could never

get at him

so i turn around

to the way i came from

open my eyes

and there is a giant spider

in front of me

i shout at the top of my lungs

and step back

quickly

as if i were running away

from a vicious creature

and fall on my back

hit my head

on the solid floor

i’m dizzy

and later notice

i’ve fainted

 

I hear echoes

someone is touching me

i can’t open my eyes

it's keeping me from opening them

due to the horrible pain

in my head

i try to open them

and see nothing but blurriness

it’s like if I were blind as a bat

suddenly,

if my vision is properly fixed

it's the man

looking down

at me

straight into my eyes

he’s staring at me

into my big eyes

like i did moments ago

when i was spying on him

before i caused a scene

he asks if i’m okay

i respond with a nod

he lowers his hand

to pick me up

from the heavy ground

his touch

soft  

like marshmallows

oh how i want to hold his hand

forever

i don’t let go

until he does

he gives me a smile

oh my

i giggle

and look down

recalling my insecurities

i look up

to look at his engaging eyes

his brown eyes

browner

than hazelnut

his nose

his mouth

his cheeks

his hair

his figure

i couldn’t ask for anything else

he’s like the most beautiful angel

that was sent down from heaven

sent to me

to distract me

from my slumber mind

yet

i’m overthinking it

can i

ever get a chance

with him?

would he be willing

to not lie to me

and rather love me instead

will he use me?

will he take care of me?

will he hurt me?

will he look upon me?

it’s been less than ten minutes

and i’m overthinking it

i surrender giving thoughts

of anything else

and carry on with this day

 

We both walk

upon the artistic garden

i give him a fake smile

he gives one in return

in the inside

i smile

yet i realized

my smile was real

attraction was radiating

between us

like the sun

giving its warmest beams

it was a cozy

spring day

with my mixed emotions

i loved it

we talk and bond,

bond like two elements

about to interact

with each other

it's a moment

i’d want to last

forever

 

The sun begins to set

i noticed

we’ve been walking

for a period of time

we traveled

from the garden

to a hidden beach

where the cliffs

were high like mountains

and the view,

the breathtaking view

was astonishing

we marched like ants

to reach the top

was our mission

to get a good view

of the horizon

my mind wonders…

will it hurt to love him?

i’ve been craving his touch

ever since

he picked me up

from that

mortifying fall

my yearning feelings

are spiraling out of control

i can’t help

but think

the life we could have

anyhow

we find refuge

at the top of the cliff

and witness

the sunset

drastically

going down

like if it were

an unhurried snail

moving to its

destination

to seek shelter

were both

leaning backwards

sitting

watching the

vibrant

lavender

mixed with

mandarin

true colors

it’s beyond

magnificent

i look down

to the ocean

below us

and picture

the

blue ocean floor

it’s like

i’m underwater

and i’m screaming

as loud as i can

with my eyes shut

while silence

surrounds me

but

when i open

my eyes

he’s there

hearing

every word,

sound,

and heartbeat

that comes out of my system

i look up

to look

at the sun

giving

it’s last

dying light

observing the view

i notice

from the corner

of my eye

that

he may be

looking at me

like if i were

a meal

about to be devoured

i turn

to the right

and see him

actually staring at me

his eyes

meets mines

i gaze into his

brown divine eyes

it’s as if

me and him

are having a

staring contest

but what

i’m really doing

is

looking deep into them

and it’s as if

his eyes

are vast pools

fearing,

i’ll swim

too deep

i might never

come up

for air

his smile

like the sunset

in front of us,

is powerful with

meaning and

pure beauty

his eye lowers

spotting my lips

he keeps his eyes still

he was leaning into me

as if like

he were the sun

sinking slowly

to the ocean

leaning closely

before i know it

we are kissing

and my world

is lit up

like a christmas tree

and fireworks

are blasted into

the night sky

to lighten up the darkness

that was once

upon me

and all i have

now is

pure serenity and joy

with him

now that the sun

has gone down

it has left nothing but

the pale moonlight

but

when we

back away

from one another

i see him

he sees me

both stupid happy

and then

it’s gone

 

I wake up

from the rain

that’s pouring

from outside

the clash and roars

of thunder

not knowing

what time it is

i think about

that night

from twelve years ago

when i fell

and fell in love

with the man

that picked me up

and took me

to the

perfect place

to witness

the last day

of my sorrows

floating away

like a balloon

headed towards the sun

when my

depression

led to

obsession

when i neglected

the fools

that played with

my emotions

like a toy

and left me for granted

but when

i learned my lesson;

all i ever

had to do

was stumble

into a path

and find my

true love

so i

lie down again

hearing the rain

traveling from heaven

to the ground

wrapping my arm

to the man

that picked me up

twelve years ago

hold him tight

and spot his smile

from the shallow

brightness in the room

as we embrace

each other to

keep us warm

from the wintry climate

that surrounds us

 

The night of spring

will be a day

never forgotten

but

before we know it

we’ve surrendered

ourselves

to sleep

 

This poem is about: 
Me
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