The Next Person You Love Should...

What to look for in the next person you love.

The next person you love should not remind you of what he used to do whether it was the way he’d push your hair out of your eyes while you are trying to watch the television in his bed at night or the way he would pick you up (literally) on your worst days and squeeze you until the he could see the sun shining through the smile that you had across your face. Your new lover should astonish you when he laughs when you are being what your former would have deemed insane, like that time you knew he was lying about where he was last night, and you begged and cried, all you wanted was the truth.

The next person you love should trust you. They should not just trust you in the sense that if you go out for a drink with the girls they are not concerned of your fidelity, but rather they trust you to trust yourself. If you were to wake up one day and decide “I want to go back to school.” Or if you are younger, “This is the college I want.” Your love should know that you have the right compass inside of you, not a broken arrow, even if that means moving you to the Midwest so you can follow in your great-grandfather’s footsteps, even if you are scared out of your mind, you need your lover to be there.

The next person you love should not use the word forever lightly. If your lover is going to say that they want you forever, they should know that forever is not a little thing. Forever includes those days where you scream and cry because you cannot remember for the life of you something important because of the time you hit your head. Forever does not just include the times you offer your body to him. Forever includes those nights you drive to their house and begged for them to forget your mistakes, even if that is after what they consider forever, to you forever means for the rest of your time and you take it seriously.

The next person you love should not blame you for the past. Somedays you cannot bear the thought of opening up and telling your new lover that you wish he knew just how much you love him and that you will always be in his corner, because how could you not? To your new love, your mannerisms are “out of the ordinary” and “you are not being yourself”. But your new lover should not blame you for the fact that the last time you had your heart on your sleeve those who you trusted more stole it right off your sleeve and then shoved you to the ground. Your new lover should understand that you want to love him like you did years ago, that you see your future in him but the last time you did that you were used as a hobby, you wanted to spend the rest of your life with them and they wanted to be your life for a couple years.

The next person you love should not break your heart. They should know how much you have given up, how many times you have seen false loves and felt true love for people who refused to give you the time of day. They should understand that the last time you had your heart broken you stared down a bottle for two weeks, you screamed until your mother coddled you at night in fear of you trying to disappear in the night. They should know that now, even a year after he broke your heart, you still drive by his house, you still check your phone every night to see if he wanted to talk to you, you still check the old pictures, to see if his eyes are staring at you with a fraction of the love you stared into his with.

What to look for in the next person you love. 

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