Since being grown up,

I read more now.

Not just for fun but, 

to learn lore and how

this world is run.

 

This all began in 2015.

When Trump ran, 

and I was eighteen,

I concluded that politics was cool;

was more interesting than what I learned in school.

 

Entertained by the debates,

and enticed by debaters,

I downloaded the app for updates from

CNN- commentators,

like Dr.Marc Lamont Hill,

became my role models.

I know he isn’t run of the mill,

but smart black men to follow,

was the thing that could fill

a hole felt hollow

by my curiosity, that could kill,

for knowledge.

 

I also grew physically and spiritually,

while attending college,

and realized the goal of this education

was to socialize, and mold, lifelong relations.

I used to learn, go to work, and ignore my peers,

‘til I learned to network my senior year.

 

Selfish to the core, 

too focused on myself.

Now trynna undo it all, 

become someone else.

Self-aware of my flaws, 

& my mistakes, I didn’t care

to not make in the first place,

or stop and repair;

 

and my shameful memories

of Hearts broken down, 

and smiles I smoldered

all into frowns.

I’d kill for a reset button

so I could regret nothin’,

so I could go back and try again, 

to be a better boy, a better friend.

 

Or I’d settle for a pill to take;

anything to make the hurt I’ve caused 

easier to tolerate…

But mistakes are a part of Life.

I know we Live and we Learn.

Can’t run from it or fight 

like Lawrence Fishburne;

Ma(y)-trix us all into relaxing too soon.

Graduation’s over but there’s still stuff to be pruned.

No more time for slacking,

or Summer fun in sand dunes.

 

To be grown is to work and save,

and disregard those Sun Rays

which bring joy and hope to our day.

So many duties I’m now burdened with,

and there’s more to ensue,

as I’m determined, through 

grit teeth & pursuit 

of this Master’s degree.

 

It’s all very stressful,

but I stay optimistic.

Like the games I used to play

I won’t delay or quit.

I’ll enjoy the challenge,

til’ I get to the Next Level.