Standing up with my clothes drenched
My palms face up were crimson red
Another gory episode of my self destruct mission replayed
I could feel the curtains of doom closing in
The shores of death were appealing to me
How did it all begin?
My trivial mind could not reason
From childhood to teenage, the image of falsehood made me go savage
So I tried to salvage every sense of decency left
Like a tornado, I had risen forcefully
But like a potato, I was crushed brutally
The clouds in my head called thoughts became more opaque even as I fought
I had gone from porn to porn; dusk to dawn
I had grown from masochist to cultist; back to back
Was I ever going to get out?
I could only wonder
I believed my deceptions, preached my conceptions, lived my fabrications
Depression was my best friend
Rejection stood by me all day
Don't get me wrong!
I had the best results, the best parents, the best friends
But all that didn't spell happiness
I appeared to be under a spell of sadness
The voices in my head multiplied
Every single day drew me closer to my end
So that day I decided to write my last letter
Did I think that would make me feel better?
I got the ropes, set the stage, locked the door
The tears in my glands fled like they were on tour
As the director that I was, I had shot that scene in my head over and over again
All set, I was ready to push the chair
Just then, I remembered there was a God so I said;
Hey God, I know you are there but don't you dare interfere
And then I drifted off, far far away
The Voice rang out in my ears
I thought it was one of the many voices in my head
"Return to me for I have redeemed you"
I had already lost consciousness
Gradually my eye lids flustered open
Standing up with my clothes drenched
My palms face up were crimson red
Events reeled through my mind like a camcorder
The corner of my eye located the last letter
"This is Grace, Grace for a new beginning"
And that was the end, the end of me dying.

#Write4life #Suicide #Aimawrites
#Newbeginning