For years I have always feared my past

The one man who shaped who am 

Today for I am someone who will last

And stay strong

I have never thought about ever moving on

I was disappointed with who I came from

What he did, made me ashamed of who

I am as a person

For years while growing up, I never

Once thought about reaching for the lever

And just letting go in order to move on

Darkness ingulfed my mind and heart

I was always afraid of getting hurt

Tired of the lies 

Tired of the pain

Afaird of becoming just like him

I could never let go

Or so I thought

He made me ashamed, scared

I failed to realize the kind of person I

Was becoming

I wanted to blame him for everything

But as I got older, I figured it was 

Time to say our goodbyes

It was hard for me to let go

I can never fully forgive him

And I don't think I will anytime soon

The fear of always being let down 

Gets to me 

The fear of getting hurt emotionally

The fear of getting attached then have it all 

Be ripped away from such betrayal

Which had me thinking

Things could've been a lot worst

But it never did

And for that, I would have to say, 'Thank you'

To him

He made me the person I am today

Made me not be so naive and gulible

To listen to my guts and instincts

With this sudden new found hope,

I felt as though a shadow veil raised 

Itself from my heart

My wounded heart and mind now

Healed from it all

I was scared of him whenever I saw him

Until I realized he wasn't apart of my life anymore

For good

I was able to open my heart up more

Because of the past. it made me who I am

And I love who I am

So I would have to thank you,

father