I don’t need to put up with it. 

Yet I do.

She doesn’t deserve to make me feel like nothing 100% of the time. 

Yet she does.

She doesn’t deserve me. 

Do I deserve her? When she does nothing but criticize. 

She doesn’t believe that she is ever wrong.

is she?

she never apologizes. 

Should she?

to make herself feel better,

she makes me feel a million times worse. 

She says I don’t take anything seriously

with nobody to talk too except the ones that hurt me. 

can u blame me? 

Can you sit there and blame me for my period pain? 

To tell me I take nothing seriously? 

My job, my work, my life? 

Maybe you’re right...

can you blame ME for the pain I feel everyday and I can’t even talk to my mom about it. 

The only one I want to talk too. 

The one I want to know but won’t ever get too.

For the mental thoughts that rip me apart 

the physical ones who literally do.

Daily.

Hourly.

Every second of every freaking day. 

I feel it. 

Do I want to, do I deserve to? 

I would choose the physical ones every time, everyday. 

who do I have to talk to except the ones who cause it. 

Because nobody really cares, why would they. I’m me.

How can I even pretend to sit here and enjoy life when all life did was deal me a crappy hand and my bluff isn’t working. 

How can I sit here and pretend to be happy when all that the pretending is doing is reminding me I’m not.

I never can be. 

To the mom who never told me she loved me without lying.