i am neck deep in you

and not lightly but

i am stuck almost like a red traffic light that refuses to change colors

green, i am not because i'm stuck underground forcing my way through the

mazes of roots that come from every direction and i am still

not moving because i know what’s going to happen next

i’m no psychic but the feeling in my gut tells me not to make a sound

i’m not ready for what's coming i just know i’m neck deep in you

so close my own breath coming back to me as it hits your collarbone suffocates me with anxiety

that is there, i can feel it

and you acknowledge it

the fact that you know

you know what you’re doing as you tighten your grip on my face making me

fear you, but i can’t move because i am neck deep in you

and i'm still trying to cleanse myself after you threw me into the filthy wall

i know you’ve done that before with others, the dents are there and just like me

i’m just another addition to the sculpture that you are creating with broken pieces of women

who are stuck here pushing their way through the shadow that your broad shoulders cast

it was after i left i realized i should've gotten tattoo’s over the bruises you left me to help me disguise your twisted idea of love but i can’t stop thinking about what would’ve happened if i’d just stayed

who would i’ve become if i would've stayed