My Warring Heart


My Warring Heart

There are two parts of my heart,

And I fear the world seeing either one.


One is rotted and twisted,

Blackened from years of nurturing

Beloved Hatred and Pride.

It is where Selfishness relaxes

After a long day of indulgence,

Cooling her feet in the waters of Vanity,

Sharing tales with Judgmental.


“Listen,” says Selfishness. “Today I

Convinced our host to abandon

Her morals for the sake of comfort.”


“Oh, but you cannot top my feat!”

Laughs Judgmental with a smug grin.

“As she watched the people around her,

I whispered all their supposed faults in her ear,

And she turned away from them in disgust.”


Hatred joins the conversation, her eyes ablaze.

“When her loved one wronged her,

I urged her never to let it go,” she says.

“Now she cannot stand to look at him.”


Pride strides in, her chin held high.

“Oh, please!” she says with a smirk.

“When she accomplished something great,

I convinced her that it was all on her own,

That no one but herself deserved the glory,

Not even her precious God.”


They break into helpless laughter,

And Selfishness gives a coy grin.

“Now that is truly great,” she agrees.

“We have overthrown the supposed

Ruler of her soul, this heavenly God.

Our master will be pleased.”


But the other glows with a light

So brilliant that to look would blind,

Housing Mercy and Joy and Faith.

It is where Humility sits at ease,

Surrounding by an aura of heavenly Love.


“Listen! For today I have helped our friend.

She greatly desired recognition,” Humility says,

“But I urged her to remember that

Life is not all about her. What about you?”


Mercy’s lips curl in a pleased smile.

“Our friend looked upon a young man

Utterly trapped in depravity and sin.

But though she longed to condemn him,

I reminded her of all that our Master

Has done to make her life new, and

Instead she showed him compassion.”


“Wonderful!” cries Joy, clasping Mercy’s hands.

“Today our friend saw all of her problems

Surging over her as a mighty wave,

But I spoke of One who gave His life for her,

And she remembered her many blessings.”


“Our friend was overwhelmed by the world,

But I told her of our Master’s prowess,” says Faith.

“He can remedy any situation, defeat any enemy.”


They break into helpless laughter,

And Humility gives a contented smile.

“Now that is truly great,” she agrees.

“We have turned her attention back to

The only One who can ever satisfy her.

Our Master will be pleased.”


Each part battles daily for my attention.

One part is familiar and acceptable,

Yet I loathe it with all that is in me.

The other I long to let others see,

Yet I dread their ridicule and rejection.


But perhaps the time to fear is over.

Perhaps the acceptance of my King

Will always be enough for me.


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