I am a Mormon.

A member of the LDS faith.

I can’t  drink alcohol or coffee.

I can’t have skirts and shorts above my knees,

and must have sleeves attached to my tees.

I can’t relieve anger or stress,

With a swear word to express.

dang.

Premarital sex is out of the question,

Don’t you think this would all cause depression?

I am a Mormon.

A member of the LDS faith.

I said I can’t,

But more accurately I won’t.

So don’t!

Put me in your imaginary chains.

This faith courses through my veins.

I don’t feel uncomfortable in my skin.

I’m worthy of a happy grin,

I am free from stds,

I am free from things like these:

Impulse and addiction.

I rarely suffer from affliction.

I can stand with conviction.

There truly is no restriction.

All from obedience to the gospel,

With more happiness than imaginally possible.

My religion sets me free.