My Real Names


Terray Lorin Decker.
I am unique, different, but somehow, wrong.
No, no, It’s Terray. Ter-ray, not that difficult to pronounce if you can read.

Today, I am an outcast.
Never seeing my name on those novelty key chains or already made coffee mugs.
Always being asked to see my ID or my SS card to make sure that is actually my name.
Yeah, trust me, it is, if I could change it, I would…

If I could change my name…

Yesterday, my name was Punky.
My mom nicknamed me that at birth, saying I looked a whole lot like Punky Brewster.
It was cute, and delicate, just like the little girl I was.
As my cuteness faded, and two new little girls came into the world, Punky found its end

Then, my name was Punk.
Went from sweet innocent little Punky, to Punk.
I became harsher, more introverted, and mean to others.
I became dark, and wanted nothing to do with anyone but me, myself, and I.
I was sick of being pushed around, and I became a Punk.

Today, my name is ‘Girl’
“Girl! Clean that over there.”
“Girl! You missed a spot over there!”
“Hey, you there, girl, why don’t you come pick this up?”
I have succumbed to being nothing but a gender.
A mere speck in the lives of those I clean up after.
A speck I obviously missed while cleaning the first time…

Tomorrow, my name will be Mrs. Maxey
Mrs. Terray Maxey, Forensic Science Technician
Mrs. Terray Lorin Maxey, wife to the Computer specialist John Robert Matthew Maxey.
Mrs. Jazzy Maxey, professional Alto Saxophone Player, and Jazz vocalist. Mrs. Maxey… Superhero, and helper of all.

In my dreams, my name is Onyx.
Onyx Rose Marie Moonmist
I am sitting with my Goddess, Nyx, in her palace in Paradise
I can remember my entire life, and every emotion that went with it. Everything is dark, but somehow, so warm and inviting and I hear a whisper, close by, yet somehow far away,
You have always been, My Terray
And peace falls upon me.



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