It hurts when support is given

bit by bit by bit

and in the areas I do not want it.

It hurts when that support

is destroyed

by the very people who created

that support,

the reason for it,

and me.

It hurts when the support comes crashing down

and they tell you to get your priorities straight.

It hurts when I realize that

they were the only one to give me

the support I craved and needed.

It hurts to know that the people I support

the people I love and care about,

I can’t talk to them about this,

because they wouldn’t understand

or maybe even care.

They like to think they know me

I like to think they care,

but I can’t go to them for all the things that make me depressed

or question who I am.

I can’t go to the people I love the most

because one wouldn’t listen

one wouldn't understand and agree

and one was the person who started it all.

I can’t talk about it,

I just have to hold it in

and pray to God to make the

tears burning at the back of my eyes

stay there.

And that I can keep a hold

on my dwindling sanity.