Dear mother, 

I banged on your bedroom door with a bleeding heart

you pretended to be asleep

I hate you 

I came home and found a note on my bed, in which you wrote

“I’m sorry I wasn’t as supportive as I should have been”

I love you

I woke up each and every morning from my violent sobs 

you didn’t notice 

I hate you

After therapy, you assumed I didn’t need it anymore 

I said it was his 18th birthday and I wasn’t doing well

I heavily cried, while you told me I’ll move on and that everything will be okay 

I love you 

You see mom, you always do something to balance the pain you’ve caused 

I suppose you’re just a part time mother

I’m shy and independent because of you 

but it’s alright, you have made me stronger 

-yours truly, Kaitrin 

ps. please, Try harder. I’m not sure how long I can keep this up.