My Monster, My Friend

"Come little girl, we'll paint the town red."
Emotional healing is what he said.
"You don't want to go on, you want to be dead."
The monster inside me, what I've fed.

"You'll always have me, you know that, right?"
I've heard it a million times. Believe? Not quite.
"I'll be here for you, any hour of the night."
So where were you, when I turned off my light?

"I'll show you a way to stop the pain."
I might as well listen, I've got nothing to gain.
"Jump off the cliff, leap in front of the train."
As long as this world is free of my stain.

"Keep your chin up, it'll be over in the end."
If only I had more than one friend.
"I've got your back, my loyalty is what I'll lend."
But how do I care for you if for myself I must fend?

"You're worthless, you're nothing, you're a waste of space."
I wish another more worthy could be in my place.
"Why bother? You're disgusting, you're ugly, you're a disgrace."
I can't even begin to look at my own face.

The caress the touch, the feel of the knife.
Sometimes I feel it's the only joy of my life.

"You're never alone, truly you're not."
"I know," I whisper "My monster's all I've got."


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