Why does this keep happening?

Why doesn’t anyone love me,

Want me,

Want to be with me?

Am I worthy?

I feel unworthy,

So dirty,

Disgusting for lusting and giving my body

Away to anyone who will look at it,

Because I wanted to be someone who was loved.

What is love?

I never knew what I was thinking of when I heard the word of love.

Love is attention,

I thought,

Love is being wanted,

Being sought.

Love is the number of likes on the picture of myself

Full of make up with no shirt,

To receive love I must do,

What else?

 

They touched me and then left me,

Left markings of his presence and a

Scar on my heart and my idea of my identity,

I don’t know what has happened to me,

I feel alone and I feel empty,

I gave my body in search for love,

They got what he wanted and abandoned me,

Why do I feel so guilty?

The victim is not them,

The victim is me.

I feel trapped in my agony,

I do not know the person inside of me,

The rose I was is dying,

And I’m crying as I’m trying to figure out what is wrong with who I am.

No one seems to want me,

No one understands.

They have stepped on me,

Broken me from complete,

Laughed at me,

Called me names,

Said I’d never deserve love again,

And here I am

Alone and broken,

The garden of my soul is covered in darkness and despair,

Depression assigned a frown that I constantly wear,

And I do not know what to do with myself,

How can I go on?

I must escape,

What else?

 

I fell to my knees and I cried,

These people telling me I’m unloved,

Have they lied?

What did I do to deserve my heart to die?

Who am I?

I had fallen,

I wanted to fly.

God, oh God, up in the sky

What am I doing?

Who am I?

I feel unworthy,

Unknown,

Are you there or am I talking to myself,

Do you even care?

Do you love me?

Why would anyone love me,

I am dirty,

Disgusting,

Unworthy,

But God I am broken,

All they do is hurt me,

Please help me,

Please restore me,

Oh, God, help me.

 

He met me there,

Heard my prayer,

Grabbed my hand,

Lifted my head,

Held me close

And then He said

 

My daughter,

My child,

My chosen one,

My friend,

I loved you even before your life began,

For I formed you in the womb,

I set you apart,

Appointed you from the very start,

From the time of your conception,

You stole my very heart.

Oh daughter,

You are honored,

Precious, and I love you,

I gave nations for your life,

I have never left you,

Not in the goodness or the times of strife,

Never will I forsake you,

Never will I leave your side,

I gave my son for you, daughter,

So that you could be mine and have life,

Abundantly,

No matter what you’ve done to me,

You’re beauty is remarkable and

You are worth far more then rubies,

And the truth is

I offer much more forgiveness then

The amount of sin that is taunting you every day,

Because my daughter,

I am the truth, the life, and the way

And I am here for you, here to stay,

And you will never push me away

Because I love you and I want you

And I want to make you knew,

So grab my hand and I will guide you

I will make your dreams come true and I will

Clothe you in righteousness,

Make you white as snow,

I will never let you go,

This is a promise the world shall know,

And I will wipe away every tear

And I will always, always hold you dear

And I will tell you and show you

That I love you for who you are,

Because who I am,

I am love,

One day you will understand that your value

Is defined by me,

Not by performing as you’ve always thought, you see,

I simply love you for who you are,

Along with your heartbreak and your scars,

I will remove the weeds from the garden of your soul,

And I will soften your heart.

I love you, daughter, I love you,

And I want to make you whole,

So grab my hand and walk with me,

And you’ll never be alone.

 

So I reached out,

The door opened,

I asked and I received,

I still struggle time and time again,

But the Lord has set me free,

I have been redeemed and

Love I am showered in by He,

The one who has never abandoned me,

The one who made my soul complete,

And I am rising on wings like eagles

As that is the promise He made to me.

The lies of the enemy say that I am unworthy,

But my God has sent him to the grave

So that he will never hurt me.

My God is mightier than any force,

He calms the winds and the waves,

My God has called me daughter,

Yes, that is my new name,

And He tells me that I am forgiven,

And I will hold on to His words

Because His truth will never come to void,

And His word will always be heard and

I trust my God who has never failed me,

Because He is perfect,

Loving, and good.

My God has made me new,

My God has set me free,

My God is the way,

Leading me to both abundant life on earth,

And life in eternity.