They’re thicker

How? Who knows,

 

They’re reaching together

Around my windows,

 

They’re protecting

From what happened

From what made them

Thick and puffy

 

They’ve signaled up

And the creases ache

 

They’ve wanted sleep

For so long

But how could I

Give that to them?

 

They did not help me

Not in that moment

Where were they

Before the tears fell?

Where was this protection

The desire to sleep?

 

Was it there

But I ignored

The constant tapping at the door,

The warning coming before the storm,

 

Where was the fear before the failure?

Why wasn’t it there all along?

I can’t believe that it could be

There while I walked on

 

Without hesitation

My windows open

To the light, the world

Open? Vulnerable

Confident? Ready to be shot down

Ready to fall hard

Ready to fail.

 

And where do you go

After all is so

When life won’t rewind

When it’s out of your control

 

But think back

What did you do

When you held

It in your own two hands

Did you nurture it then

Was it your priority

Back when you

Could have changed it

Could have helped it grow

 

Could have

Should have

Would have

They seem so

Useless now

But before

So possible

So probable

 

How is it

That I ignored

The constant tapping at my door,

The warning coming before the storm,

The plant asking me for more

The world outside waiting for

Something more