The Mournful


White empty walls surrounded me,
The sound of whispers disturbed me,
I sat on a cold hard table, afraid and alone…
I was told to lie back and relax as they put a mask over my nose and mouth.
Tears never stopped since I entered the room.
I sensed myself zoning out under the mask,
Then I felt the pain of the women who were there before me.
I heard the fainting cries of the souls that were guilty.
They cried out in pain.
They cried because of their broken hearts
They cried out of grief.
And I cried with them.
For my soul was about to join the rest of the lonely.
But I didn’t want to!
I didn’t want to become an empty hollow body, 
I didn’t want to lose what was getting removed.
I was uncomfortable,
As the thoughts swam around my head, I felt light headed.
I saw a man in a white coat with a mask over his mouth stand over me.
“Just relax and you won’t feel a thing.”
Because I felt everything!
The mask on my mouth grew foggy from all the heavy breathing and snotting
My eyes rolled back and I was in that middle state,
Consciousness and the Dream World…
I wanted this to be a dream!
Oh, how badly I wanted this to be a dream!
But in this state, I was supposed to be numb.
Yet, I felt everything.
Every tube,
               And other objects…
I felt the life force that has been sucked right out of me!
I felt the life of my Ariel or my Michael ending.
It hurt!
Oh God!
I felt the sharpest agonizing pain in my stomach.
It roared through my body like thunder!
I could hear the empty souls as they wailed cries of hell.
I felt my soul starting to leave my own body,
I didn’t even put up a fight to hold on to it,
I guess it couldn’t bear the pain of losing something dearly wanted.
My eyes flutter open to watch it join the grieving outcasts.
My vision then was blurred by salt water.
The pain in my stomach intensified.
And blood ran down my thighs.
There was no more Ariel or Michael…
No more carrying a life…
I was supposed to feel free and happy,
Because my life would stay the same,
But I felt nothing but guilt and sadness…
I am a murderess.
I have no heart.
I have no soul.
My body is now an empty hollow shell with barely working organs.
I have nothing left to give,
I’ll never forget this…
Because it’ll haunt me for the rest of my life…
I just hope your soul will never join the abandoned detached,
Like mine…


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