Im. Five.

It’s my first time at an airport,

Staring in as the metal birds soared above me

We boarded the plane.

Airplanes are supposed to bring us forward

But the one you put me on has kept me in the past for far too long.

Every other mammal will kill

At even the slightest notion of harm towards their young

Not you

You let him steal my light

Why?

Who was this man?

Scruffy beard that scratched me as he bent down

This gorilla was not my father

Not my teacher 

And most certainly not my guardian!

No he was your boyfriend

A man you cheated on my father with.

And you thought it all good and well to let him take me to the airplane bathroom.

You traded my innocence for his love

And in the end, you lost them both.

You let him stalk your cub

And poach me for my precious fur.

So easy to leave us behind

Wasn’t it?

But you couldn’t stop there

No you had to bring him

You had to damage a child in ways she will never understand.

He had to steal my light.

But I will not give you the satisfaction of me becoming nothing

I will not let me suffer

I vow I will not let him win

I will stand; trudge on in the snow and ice

The water and guck

As leaches try to suck my life from me

Just too finally. Defy. You.

And I promise when I win my Emmy 

My Oscar

My Nobel peace prize

I want you in the front row

To see all you’ve missed out on 

And you can tell your friends

All you want

That you love me

And care for me

But the truth be told you haven’t talked to me since I was seven

I swear to you I will not fall

I may be a melted candle

With only a centimeter wick left

But that wick will last me until I find a new light

I have trudged through this desolate forest for far too long

The trees that you’ve planted

Have ripped my clothes for the last time

Though you think you have snuffed out my light

A spark endures

My heart endures

And that spark will multiply

You may have stolen my light

But I will set this forest ablaze!

Burning all the lies and pain you’ve caused

The trapped souls finally free

I have won

For I am a warrior

The heat and ashes becoming body paint

Showing my victory

As the fire roars behind me

I feel no pain

My armor covers my skin

That you’ve tainted and let be tainted

For that

DOES NOT DEFINE ME!

I am free

Mother.