The moment too late

It feels as if someone tied,
a cloth around my head...
The world around is fading...
The sounds were muffled...

It feels as if I'm breathing
Through deep water...
My breaths come out fast..
And shallow and as pants...

It feels as if the time stopped...
And now it's moving back....
Through the memories...
Of my horrible past...

The times I've been teased...
The times I've been hit...
The times I've been lied too..
The times I've been told to kill myself...

The times I've been betrayed...
My dreams that have been crushed...
My screams silenced....
My thoughts not cared...

The water glass slipped from my hand...
And shattered to pieces...
It can never be fixed...
Just like my heart...

I could hear my baby sister's cries...
And my mom's voice telling her to stop...
I could hear the sound of a bottle hitting the floor...
As I let the pills drop...

My heart beating fast...
My breaths becoming slow...
My body becoming numb...
In the soft bed light's glow....

My mind stopped playing all the horrible things....
Instead went to the memories...
Of my family...
And my friends...

I clearly remember...
My mom's beautiful laugh...
My dad's shining eyes...
My sister's first words...

The ice cream place...I went to..
a million times with my best friend...
The times I laughed with her...
The times I cried...

All the dreams I dreamt of...
All the places I wanted to visit...
All the foods I wanted to taste...
Memories of them came back to me...

I wanted to get up...
Shout for help...
But my legs buckled...
As I fell on to the floor with a little Yelp...

I told my parents..
I have to study...
And not to come to my room
and disturb me...

Tears fell from my eyes
As watched the closed door...
My vision blurred...
And I was still on the floor...

I don't want this to happen...
I shouldn't have swallowed the pills...
I shouldn't have cut my self...
I shouldn't have tried to kill...

I realized, I wanted more...
I realized I don't want to die...
I realized I wanted to live..
That thought made me cry...

My heart slow led down to low...
My breaths came out so slow....
No sounds can be heard...
My eyes started to close...

I realized this is not
What I really wanted...
I realized it an moment too late...
And I've already died...

This poem is about: 
Me

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