Who is my muse,

The one I write for?

I perform

And I send out my message

With strength

And with shaking hands

Frozen limbs

Questioning,

Screaming

Hear me.

 

Do you have ears?

Did you forget how to listen?

Are there times when you just want to close it all off

And stop feeling?

Where are you now

When I need you most

When you’re supposed to be my guiding light

And now you’re gone away

By your own hand

Life taken from you

But no.

It was not taken

You just gave it away

As if there was no one else who wanted it

As if I wasn’t in the other room

Preparing for what would soon be

But what never happened.

Hear me.

 

Stop running from the truth

Accept your fate

There’s nothing you can do

I can’t rhyme these words

Because there’s no reason to rhyme for you

You don’t deserve it

You never did

Maybe once before Spring set in

When I thought

We’d do so much

You were so well

I was so well

We were so swell

And then all at one with a gasp

And a

“I’m gonna be sick.”

You were gone.

HEAR ME.

 

You fell so easily.

For thirty six years you fought

With the strength of a thousand men.

Tortured by your own mind

Treatments of electricity

And downing pills

By the bottle.

Hospitals and patients,

Nurses and psychiatrists

Holding you down

And holding you in

Did they choose this?

Was it my fault?

In that moment where I last saw you breathing

Did I not choose my words well enough?

Are my words better now?

Could they have been better then?

Do you hear me?