I cannot pull the curtain back because my mind tells my hands “Don’t do it, they won’t understand us.” I cannot pull the curtain back because I can no longer tell the difference between the real me and the one everyone knows. I am an introvert who does her best to make everyone happy when really I don’t care for them...Or at least that’s what I’d like to believe. The misconception of a girl who looks in the reflection and sees a stranger because what she sees looking back at her changes every day. I am someone who wants to be heard but can hardly muster up a “Hello” when someone acknowledges me. I want to be heard; but my mind will not allow my words to come out of my mouth because “they won’t understand us."
I’ve come far by myself and by keeping these wretched emotions in check because the second they come out I go haywire and my mind becomes similar to that of a storm and my eyes become clouds full of rain and my hands become similar to that of a tornado because they will tear everything in their way apart. Who I am internally is a natural disaster waiting to happen but who I present to everyone else is who I’ve become. I cannot pull the curtain back because the girl you will see might not even be the real me.