If I told you I was suicidal would you believe me?

Maybe I don't cut, and maybe I don't attempt,

but I sure do think about it every waking moment. 

The smile on my face everyday is deceiving to you but also myself. 

In school the bridge down the street seems like a great escape. 

At home the deep stream just a block away tastes irresistible. 

I sit and sulk and inhale the thoughts in my head saying "you're not going to make it through the night". 

As I sit in darkness before I fall asleep, I cry reminiscing about the times I've wasted thinking about death, rather than living my life. 

I believe that this 365 days to come will be different. 

I hope to god I will still be alive, and in search for that thing I lost touch with; my happiness. 

I know once that it is found, I'd be ready for death to come, because I know I'd die with a smile in my face.