maybe when you left

my tears weren't because i lost you

maybe because i was alone

with my own thoughts

maybe i was in love with the attention you gave me 

maybe i was in love with you

maybe i'll never stop loving you

when i think of you

i think of cold winter months

i think of running in the rain

i think of holding your dry hands for warmth

i think of the rain drops on the windsheild and lattes

i think of the jokes we told each other

i think...i miss you

but maybe

i'm in love with the happy us

maybe my brain doesn't want to think of the emotional abuse

maybe i'm happier now that i don't have to deal with you peering over my shoulder 

maybe i'm glad i don't have to mind who i speak to

not maybe anymore

i am