Matter, of course, you

I want to lay down and dissolve away.

Make it so there's  no trace of what used to be.

Me and him never speak.

It's a mess that accumulates in my head.

I don't worry, it's just my fallout.

Toxic in my air. All up and through my head.

It's my natural state. Poisoning myself every time I go to breath.

It stops tasting funny after a while and makes itself invisible.

No one else can see.

I like those moments in between panic, running back to you.

Seeming so beautiful, in a halo of lamplight in the night.

How your hands are real and your mouth is not.

How it's cold and you're not.

How many different gut feelings can one man elicit?

I'm so afraid that the way things have become inside me,

all confused and content at the same time.

If that is the wrong thing to do.

If maybe my heart will burst one day and everyone will think I just drank too much


I have drank too much coffee.

But whose fault is that?

You, my love, burn forever more in my stomach.

I feel so lost now that I'm running on empty.

I think, somehow, I have always felt that way.

Did you notice?

Did it matter in the least. I was just a piece

of a great big, important puzzle, I still don't fit but I'm glad you didn't

force it.

It's easy to hate people that hate you,

curse those who despitefully use you.

But you don't. I think that's why I still love you.

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