A house party thrown, his parents out of town--
drinks were flowing, ”pong balls” flying
smoking, laughing, dancing and music.
There was a sixteen year old girl, invited by chance.
Over drank, fell asleep-- a seemingly peaceful action yet an unpredictable mistake.
He crept into bed and stole her voice, dignity, innocence, and consent.
Took a shred of life from a girl that still had so much left,
he was selfish and awful, ignored her cries and her pleas-- became a thief.
Discovering these events tore me to shreds,
cold blood rushed through my veins, the vile taste of truth grazed my tongue.
It made my jaw clench, my heart wrench
hands shake, palms sweat, mouth trembles, throat burns.
An everlasting grey cloud surrounds what I used to know as summer rolled by
my trust was broken but I hid behind an ambiguous facade of strength.
I wore a mask to shelter my weakness, concealed from myself.
Pretending hard enough might glue the shattered pieces of my existence together.
Pretending, pretending till I believed it was reality.
Breathing in the hot summer heat and diving into the cold, blue waters,
ignoring the dark grey palate of the past,
holding my arms wide open to the pasteled future.
Pretending, pretending, pretending.