It’s all up to me.

It has always been up to me, to become anything,

But I want to flee like a banshee to the Dead Sea

To step away from my life and not have answer the question:

“What do you want to be?”

I want to be an author

But I can’t just be a Chaucer

My last name is Collins but I can’t become Suzanne,

I won’t be Rowling anywhere and I won’t be seeing Green anytime soon.

People say that the (Chbo)sky is the limit but I’m not a Stephen.

And forget Shakespeare, I can am too austere.

My mind works in fifth gear, but my motivations disappear.

People then tell me I need a backup plan,

After all, I “can’t be an author. You’re not a can do man.

You don’t have the attention span. Find something else,

Make a new dream.”

Make a new dream.

That is it. That command, that declaration, brings out pure frustration and disputation. This may be quite striking, but my dreams don’t have to be to your liking. This social foundation is a mutation, to drag people to an endless rotation of a mundane demonstration. No. I will not be a part of this correlation, not a mega-corporation that will cause deforestation and buy the constellations only to end in a celebration and ultimate damnation. I don’t want to live my life with the application being sent and never finding confirmation. I don’t fit in the social congregation. I want to be something more than another calculation and civil calibration. I won’t join the failed legislation and fix the fragmentation. That system is a weak fabrication that needs liquidation. No. I would rather live in isolation and participate in meditation and undergo a spiritual transformation or reincarnation or just die of ultraviolet radiation. Maybe even just be trapped in a police station. But that would ruin my reputation. After all, I am top in my class of the highest in education. But I feel like I am an annual replication, of another generation. I feel as if these limitations will cause suffocation.

I was asked what I wanted to be hundreds of times over the years.

The same question was asked of my peers, but I feel like

I’m the only one that doesn’t have it all clear.

I just want to help people

I need to do something before I’m gone forever

I want to be remembered as clever and having failed never

Where’s the social standard for that?

Missionary work and volunteer clerk?

I want to travel around to save the world.

There’s no job for that.

But I could combine my dreams

And make a book to help the world?

That’s my dream.

And it’s all up to me.

After all, our future is what we determine it to be.

Our past and our parents can’t decide for us,

It’s all up to you.