Love for a day, then decay.

Why am i making the same exact mistakes i made only 5 years ago

it feels like i still have to grow. 

Lets get up get out and run away,

don't be ashamed i can take you to a magical place,

welcome to my strawberry field,

I can now put down the gun and throw away my shield,

no barriers no fear,

it's just you and me baby, you are the only one i call dear,

how sweet that all could be,

but hey i guess that's not in store for me,

I just gotta keep steppin  through life saying "fuck this shit" i'm done trying to fight!

Fighting against what i feel,

against what is obviously real,

hiding the pain because i feel ashamed,

loving you is no fucking game,

please do not mock me or diss me,

because in the end i know you will  somehow miss me,

whether you like it or not i feel the way i do even if you do not,

you're a nice guy and all of that but sometimes I feel like I need to give you a smack,

you say all these things and have great goals,

what you fail to realize is life is not your whore,

life is a bitch and will fuck you up in many ways,

hey look at me it feels like i'm gettin my ass kicked everyday,

and for what so i can be acknowledged as "dude" and "bro" simply because you don't know what to say?

Well fuck you bitch!, you have just made my day,

pissing me off not knowing what the fuck to say,

so the line "See ya later dude" seems ok,

and the worst part is the mixture in my mind won't settle down,

not until i see you,

then hopefully all of my thoughts can just stay quiet and drown,

this noise is killing me,

i need some peace and silence or my time will come quickly,

tick tick tick,

it feels faster day by day,

an explosive heart,

great, now i have to save My day,

thanks for everything i hope you're out there living,

while i'm slowly starting to decay.

Do not worry,

I will be heard and I will not be ashamed.

For being straight, Bi, or gay is a wonderful thing,

loving you would have been abusing,

but leaving you has so far been quite amusing.

Growing into something from nothing,

even when I though that you could have been my everything.

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