this is love.

My voice trembled

as I sat in the chair 

warm, soft, inviting

 

uncomfortable.
 

To this stranger I had never met

I told on hIM.

 

hE.

Not much older than me

shut the door

locked me in

told me to takeoffmyclothes

and mOLESTED me.

over ten years.

silence            and aGAIN

silence            and aGAIN

please                     yet aGAIN

silence            and aGAIN

waiting           fOREVER?

 

Tell me.     Mommy?          Daddy?                       Why do I have to love hIM?                       But why?                            ...                                fine.         In this chairwhich I sat                  the years I took                  the time I wavered                  ...But we're family! No.It is wrong             b e c a u s e             hE is family.                    waiting...                                      time.                                                     tears.and hE is gone. but. why. am. i. still. lost?  -----  in the timethat i have triedto healon my owni have realized
                                              healing is hard.
                  i was warned                 that love                 a relationship                 intimacy
                                              it would be scary.
                                yet still
                               when spring came
                               i could not resist
                                              its allure.
                                                        i fell in love.                                                       with a man                                                       who loves me                                                       just the same.he invigorates me,cares for me,dreams of me,empowers me.         i look at him.         i see my lover.         i see a spouse.         i see my future.
                  every day                  i am aware                  of my beating heart
                  of how lucky i am                  to have a guy who is willing                  to help heal me.                           this is love.                           this is love.                           this IS love. 

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