I have tried in a desperate manner

to be all you want me to.

capable of love.

capable of fun.

but I am not.

you may dream of fun times on beaches 

and bright sunny places,

adventures to cities,

or countries, or ruins.

but as for me,

I do not sleep.

nor dream.

I simply sit,

quiet as a mouse I chant.

"dark lungs and deep thoughts.

locked doors and lake bottoms.

empty halls and hollow graves.

lost hope and little faith."