You should look at me.

I’m perfect,

I have so many friends,

I get the best grades,

My parents love me so much.

Look at me.

Give me the love I’m not shown,

The reassurance I need.

I will put you down,

Exclude you,

Hurt you,

Slander you,

Break you,

Call you annoying, fake, ugly,

I’m just trying to make myself feel better.

Because deep down,

I know I’m imperfect,

I know I’m messed up,

I know I’m not good enough.

For anyone.

So I will,

Pretend,

That I have what you don’t,

Pretend that I have standards,

Pretend that in this moment,

I’m the happiest.

Look at me.

Look at my wide smile,

I’m laughing,

Look at my bright eyes,

I’m so much happier then you,

My life is perfect and complete.

Don’t you see?

I get home,

Stand in front of the bathroom mirror.

Take off my smirk of contentment and indifference,

I look away from the mirror,

I don’t like the truth,

But then I turn back,

And see myself.

The one with falling grades,

With fake friends that don’t care,

With parents that are never home.

I see my true self,

Clingy,

Selfish,

Attention-seeking,

Narcissistic,

I see dull eyes, a big nose.

I turn away,

Put my mask back on,

For no-one but myself to see.

I looked within,

Now I walk away.