Living behind the curtain of the perfect girl is tough

Not telling anyone what is actually going on is tough

I've been through a lot in my short lifetime

A few years ago my best friend called me a slut behind my back

Literally

As in I was on my side pretending to be asleep while my other two friends talked about me

I have a hard time trusting people since then

Don't get me wrong, I don't hold a grudge

I'm not going to make myself miserable over what she said

Today, I think it's hilarious that she called me a slut

I hadn't even had a boyfriend at that point

But I still cried

I second guessed all of my relationships and still do

If she would talk behind my back, what do others do with what I tell them

I was horrified

A few months later my mom had me hospitalized for an eating disorder and suicidal thoughts

Today, I'm better

I still live behind a curtain of the perfect girl with nothing wrong

But I let my personality out and I am able to let myself be true to a few good friends 

I am healing